Relationship Priorities For Marriage & For Dating
I think we can all agree that having common priorities in a relationship is so important. When Brandon and I first started dating, we had some deep conversations early on: what we were looking for, expectations, life goals, etc. It quickly became clear to me that our relationship priorities were the same and made me even more confident that we were meant to be. I thought it would be fun to share some of those priorities today, but also start a conversation about what your own relationship priorities are. And if you haven’t thought about them, now is a great time to start considering what’s important to you and your partner.
First and foremost, let me start by saying that of course, every relationship is different. We all crave different things and hold different values; that being said, there are a few core ideas that I’m confident we can all agree upon and I’ll start with these as non-negotiables for any relationship.
Priority #1: Honesty
Brandon and I are both Bachelor fans (I may or may not have forced the show upon him) and one episode of the show will tell you that everyone is looking for an honest relationship. If you don’t have honesty, what do you have? You need someone that you can trust, believe, and know that they’re always keeping things honest between the two of you.
Priority #2: Trust
I think this extends from honesty. If you have an honest relationship, you then have trust together. The two go hand-in-hand. To us, trust is something that is built upon and that increases with time and experience. I certainly didn’t start out trusting Brandon on day one, but rather grew to know him, love him, and trust him with time.
Priority #3: Like & Love
I think we can all agree that love is a priority. But I also believe that you should genuinely like your partner too. You should like being with them and like their personality, traits, quirks, mannerisms, and all that comes with them. Especially after time passes, many couples will still say that they love their partner but they may not like or enjoy their company. I know that we both value the like and love aspect and work hard to develop both.
Priority #4: Communication
This is another non-negotiable. Every relationship must have communication to succeed. Although this can be challenging and difficult at times, it’s something that genuinely requires work and leads to relationship success. For us, we really try to set aside date nights each week to place a value on communication and the art of conversation. Subscribe to our weekly newsletter to receive our free date night ideas that change seasonally.
Priority #5: Quality Time
A lot of people said quality time together was vital when we polled on Instagram. We couldn’t agree more with this. In the day-to-day, it’s so easy to get swept up in chores, work, kids, and forget that it takes actual work to carve out time together. We still feel like we’re newlyweds in a lot of ways, partially because we don’t have kids; therefore, we definitely have the ability to spend time together. That being said, we have to be really cautious to make that time meaningful and valuable, rather than wasting it watching TV or doing separate activities. I think this priority also ties into our own weekly date night commitment because we know we can count on quality time together for that.
Relationship Priorities Specific To Us
Our Own Non-Negotiables
In addition to the ones we’ve listed above (which I feel are completely universal and applicable to every couple), we’ve got several of our own that Brandon and I both feel like hold a heavy purpose in our lives together. I’m curious to know what your specific priorities are as a couple! Let’s keep the conversation going in the comments section below!
Our top priority is our faith and relationship with the Lord. Together, we want to be serving God and growing together in our faith. Church is extremely important to us and we constantly want to make sure that we place Jesus first. He is the rock and foundation upon which our relationship is built.
Upon meeting Brandon, I knew family was just as important to him as it is to me. I met his parents very quickly and could see that he grew up similarly to myself in a lot of ways. Our future family was something we discussed even when dating, just to ensure we had the same mindset when it came to parenting and children. I think this is so important to figure out before marriage just to ensure that you’re on the same page!
Adventure & Travel
You can probably tell from our blog that we place a big value on adventure and travel. Both Brandon and I are firm believers that travel expands the mind and keeps you young. By seeking adventure in big and small ways, we hope to keep the fun, spontaneity, and curious parts of our minds alive. It’s easy to get settled into a routine and for us, adventure & travel help keep our lives interesting!
I feel like Brandon and I give endless support to one another and it’s something that I’ve truly grown to cherish. We both have big dreams (like the ranch house) and with support from the other person, those dreams feel even more attainable.
This one may sound a little odd, but hear me out. I knew that feeling loved, valued, and pursued were all very very important to me as a woman. Mentally, I vowed that I would find myself a man who made me feel special and who consistently pursued me, even after years of marriage. Pursuit can look different for every person, but for me, there are a few key things that I want. In marriage, I want to feel like my spouse is still dating me; regular and fun events like dinner out, day trips, or easy yet intentional things like a home cooked meal together make me feel valued. Love notes, sweet text messages, words of encouragement, and even acts of service (like cleaning the house) are just a few ways that a partner can show love. A lot of this one goes back to the famous love language test and utilizing those skills to understand your spouse and make them feel like they are a priority.
What do you think? Do we share any of the same relationship priorities? I’d love to hear from you if we skipped anything that is a non-negotiable for you and your spouse! Leave a comment below and let us know: